Rambling Flummery & Tidings of Comfort and Joy.

As we round out another year i’m sitting here in the gloaming of a late December afternoon staring at an empty text box and a flashing cursor. At this precise moment I have nothing to say though, i doubt that will last long. A little Rambling Flummery & Tidings of Comfort and Joy are therefore in order.

My last post in October was, for me, quite a positive one which many folk seem to appreciate. Following the year I have had it’s best I keep it that way, focus on the positives because the negative side of the scale is getting a little heavy of late.

I could easily ‘loose my shit’ over what’s going on in the world but I have come to the realisation that does me no good at all. I can easily rant and rave until I pass out, Kev’ and I regularly do just that over an afternoon phone call. It’s that old idiom, we’re just ‘blowing off steam’ which Google defines as…

“blowing off steam”  is a common idiom meaning to release strong emotions like anger or frustration, often through physical activity or energetic expression, preventing them from building up to an explosion, much like steam from a boiler. 

I have had a few of those moments this last year, times when I felt like doing a Mr Creosote. Running a small business is no longer the wonderful enjoyable and rewarding task it once was. It seems we are being assaulted on every front. Tasks that were once very simple have become tortuous, fiendishly complicated and invariably expensive. There have been moments this year when I have literally banged my head on the desk and cried in frustration.

From the day I was born my old dad instilled in me the importance of being honest, polite and above all else conscientious. For me, doing the best I can is more important than any profit, gain or acknowledgement. Doing the best I can at whatever I turn my hand to is more important to me than breathing. I am not remotely interested in being the best, having the best or the most. I have never given a thought to being the most popular or involved. The world of clicks, likes and subscribers fills me with abject horror. I was born into a world where folk kept themselves to themselves and as my lovely long gone Nan always said ‘mind your own business‘. She would be horrified to see me putting this drivel out there for some of the world to read. I don’t like it one bit either but here we are.

Way back when I started to uncover the world of bonsai and realise what was involved I made the conscious decision to do the best work I could. I have not had the opportunities some folk might have but all I really want to do is MY best and only I know when that’s happened. When it has I will probably vanish without warning. However, that’s unlikely to happen any time soon looking at some of the shite I turned out this year.

One of the very important things I learned about bonsai right at the outset was the importance of good, appropriate and skilled work. Good work consistently applied over a lifetime is what makes great bonsai. Walking around a top European exhibition back in the late 1990s with the great David Prescott I learned the difference between those big flashy impressive and popular bonsai that always steal the show and those oft’ over looked quiet little wonders produced by dedicated virtually unknown masters of our art. Even if we only have the most simple and basic materials to work with the patient, precise and skilled application of good technique over extended periods of time will always produce a tree of superior quality. Artistic merit is another thing altogether but that’s for another day.

Even though I have been guilty of putting it out there myself this modern need to dramatically transform the most unlikely scruffy and impossible material into an exhibition bonsai in an afternoon is little more than ‘Pub bonsai’. A bit of a lark, a bit of showboating and a lot of ego are the primary requirements and the result is largely entertainment. It’s better than it used to be thankfully and it is a buzz but as I have always said, the end of a demo’ is just the beginning.

My old mate Blacky always said “bullshit baffles brains”. I doubt that was original with him but wherever it originated, it’s still largely true. Folk look, but many do not see. ‘Pearls before swine’ was the summation of a demonstration I heard recently. We try so hard to give away our knowledge but so often I would say it just goes in one ear and out the other. Understanding how to apply the correct technique, combine different techniques and time that all correctly whilst adjusting for factors like weather and doing it with a flexible ten year plan consistently is all that’s required to turn the most mundane plant into a a notable bonsai tree. Falling asleep in the front row will NOT get you there, trust me!

Those of us with too many decades of bonsai under our belt have the privilege of being able to see more clearly. I am SOOOO glad social media was not available to me back when I was a feckless know all, cocky little shit. I have a massive box full of paper photographs of so much of my early work. I was so impressed with myself back then when everything was new. The good part about that is YOU will never get to see any of it. I feel for folk in that position today, knowing a bit (but not a lot) and having to put it all out there. I’m looking at it and quietly cringing. The internet has opened this all up for all to see and there are thankfully some incredibly talented individuals but for every one of those there seem to be about a million numpties posting roadkill and that’s all I have to say ’bout that.

Here at Kaizen Bonsai every year pretty much begins the same way. We take a couple weeks break for Christmas and new year because it’s the only time we ever get to not work. When we return in January there are literally hundreds of orders to get moving and by the time that’s done what we call soil season is upon us.

I’m not going to go into just how hard soil season is but we move literally tons’ of goods every single day until the end of April. There’s not a minute to take a breath. Thankfully each year it gets bigger but a lot harder. Reading it back that sounds bad but my point is we REALLY, REALLY appreciate and need your support. I desperately want to do the best job I can but that’s getting harder and harder thanks to outside interference but i’ll literally die before I stop working. Your orders make an old man and his ol’ lady very happy. You are keeping us both fit and active and I know for a fact Richard and Sarah appreciate the roof ya’ll put over their heads.

This year, right in the middle of the chaos of springtime I was, metaphorically speaking, hit by a truck. Entirely out of the blue and without a hint of warning I was faced with one of the hardest choices a modern man might face. My beautiful little dog of eight years suddenly and without warning lost his sight and a week later we had to have him put down. We got thoroughly rogered by thieving vets and so by the end of the week I had a massive hole in my pocket running to several thousand sheets and a dead dog in a cardboard box. Simply savage, brutal and an experience that has left me both heart broken and scarred. I normally shrug this stuff off, I seem to have suffered quite a few losses and setbacks of weight over the years but this one broke a part off me and threw it in the road. Even the arrival of little Baxter has not helped heal the wound. Guess i’ll just have to suck it up buttercup.

My summer went well all things being equal. The weather was good and the bikes were rolling, or at least some where. Often the weather was just too hot to be out riding but on those days I was busy watering anyway. Vintage Harley Davidson motorcycles (with the exception of a ’45’) are, at their very best, fragile and prone to sentimentality, delicate flowers. As a result one is now not working and needs tearing apart for the third time in five years and a couple others have been turned out into the cold world of commerce. However the net result was I got to buy a couple of stonking new rides but this is a bonsai blog so i’ll not get started on bikes.

At the end of August late one balmy afternoon and entirely unexpected we had rapidly darkening skies not unlike an eclipse before an absolute hooley blew through. Ten minutes later it was warm and sunny again whilst we stood there in three inches of water with icy hail floating in it wondering what the hell just happened.

Well, what happened was this little shit storm opened up the roof of my fabled poly-tunnel like one of those cheap shirts the Hulk always wore. An eighteen foot split right at the ridge. It was bound to happen but for a few years now I have been nursing an aging sheet attempting to squeeze every last day from it. I absolutely knew this was coming, i was dreading it but here I was staring at the sky where once there was a roof. Now this is important to me because the poly-tunnel is also my workshop. Having a workshop is much more important to me than having a telly, a phone or even a meal. In fact if I could live in a van and turn my house into a workshop i would, in a heartbeat but Catherine won’t have it and so I’m relegated to my tunnel.

As it happens I’m a bit lucky because I have four workshops. The garage is where bike work takes place, it’s got a lathe, compressors and chests of tools all suited to engineering work. I have a shed where dirty shitty work gets done. In there are welders, blast cleaning paraphernalia, fabrication equipment, pillar drills, chests of tools, paint spraying kit and a dozen little two stroke motors attached to all sorts of gardening kit (I have a big garden with lots of big hedges and trees). There’s another workshop for business where Richard and I (but mostly Richard) sort out all the stuff you order and finally there’s a bit of my poly-tunnel which gets used for everything from bonsai work to restoring/storing motorcycles, carpentry, painting and almost anything can happen in there. Most of the time it’s dry, well lit and spacious.

Way back in 2008 when I moved here I needed a workshop in a hurry, I had nothing else at the time. After just a few weeks my tunnel was in place. A massive task that required weeks of preparation and endless graft from my, then much fitter, hard working Dad and any other folk that happened to be nearby. Whilst the tunnel was constructed to last everything else was a bit rushed and temporary. My benches were cobbled together mostly out of piled up blocks topped with either old oak railway sleepers or decking.

As is the way with many small nursery businesses working long hard hours for small returns we just wore everything out and cluttered up the whole place, so fast forward seventeen years and i’m staring at the gaping harbinger of a massive task. I found a little crew who were going to come and refurbish the tunnel but there’s about a million tons of crap piled in their way. All my benches have sunk and there’s not a level pot in the place. It had been very embarrassing for a while and the only way to put it right was to completely rethink the whole place and start again.

Now I no longer need a producing nursery I decided to make a very practical and useful spot that would be nice to spend time in and also be very practical for how I work. I was also keen not be facing this dilemma again the next time I needed a new sheet so everything has been built around that consideration. Rather than spend five weeks breaking my back humping filthy heavy crap out the way, next time preparation for new cover day will take no more than a long afternoon. Also everything has been built properly even down to all stainless steel fasteners so stuff comes apart should I need it too.

If you do not have the pleasure of tunnel ownership it helps to understand the environment inside. A poly-tunnel is little more than a cold frame with bad ventilation. In summer the temperature can easily hit 60 Celcius (140f) and at other times it can freeze for days on end. The winter leaves a still and very damp atmosphere that will not fully dry out for about half the year. The temperature can easily swing 40 degrees in an hour. Materials that get used inside a poly-tunnel has a hard life. For instance a good few years ago I installed jigsaw style rubber flooring in the workshop. It’s now eight inches smaller than when I laid it.

Wood and metal do well in a tunnel environment but anything plastic will quickly fall apart. Wood must not be allowed to remain wet for long periods, warm summer temperatures can turn a tanalised deck board into sponge in eighteen months. So regarding choice of materials, experience has left me much wiser. By the time I was cleared away and the new sheet fitted I had so many piles of transient materials I looked like a bankrupt builders yard.

The project is still ongoing but I have posted some images below for anyone sad enough to be interested. I will be finished by spring which, seeing as I have done full days on this since September including weekends just goes to show I was either right to be concerned about what lay before me when that hole opened up or i’m just a fucking tired hands who needs to get his finger out.

My main run of benches sits right in front of my tunnel and it ALL had to be shifted. That included about half a ton of blocks and two dozen oak railway sleepers. Turns out these are impossible to get rid of these days so I used some of them to make a floor. The new benches are sitting on concrete foundations over 3′ into the ground, perfectly level and super easy to maintain and importantly…. move. I now understand why so many Japanese working nurseries use simple planks and plastic crates for benching. It might not be commensurate with some folks sense of bonsai aesthetics but it’s very practical. My tunnel sits on a hill and there’s just under a meter drop end to end. This time around I tried to incorporate that feature as best I could.

The reason for doing all this is because it’s high time I started seeing folk again. Since all that Covid malarkey I have been very happy to hide away on my own. To be honest that’s not been the best idea and so from next spring I will be getting busy with workshops again. I will be making more videos and hopefully be welcoming anyone who would like to visit what I can now, finally after too many years call my very OWN bonsai garden. In fact garden sounds a bit grand, it’s not Omiya but I have a big spacious garden with a shit load of old bonsai in it so i’m going with that. If at any time in the year you would like to visit just for the hell of it just get in touch. PLEASE DON’T JUST TURN UP!

Workshops are going to be a small personal affair. Whilst I am happy to do one to one sessions these will be a bit expensive. I will be hosting small groups of three or maybe four by mutual agreement. These will run from 10am to 6pm and be a mix of Friday and Saturday dates. If you would like to receive details and dates do get in touch. Drop me a line – [email protected]

One high point was the arrival of grand-baby number three. Little Elias was born in August, the first boy in my corner of the family since I came along way back when. Well done to Sarah who’s turned into a fantastic mum to her tribe. I’m told this is the last one. I’m fascinated to see how they are all going to cope as everyone gets bigger inside their tiny house. I’m mean that way 😉

So now you have the skinny on all that and so, in other news I have now finished listing our new shipment of Bonsai pots. There is another shipment arriving in January with by far the best high quality handmade pots I have ever been able to offer and I have new stock of a few old favourites still to come in. Have a good scroll through all those categories, we have a few absolute gems this year. I have also managed to get together a good range of very nice Extra Large Bonsai Pots Many of these are limited numbers so don’t hang about.

For next year we are now fully stocked with our whole range of soil products, fertiliser, wire and tools. In fact we have never held so much stock and thanks to a lot of grovelling and twisting arms most prices have remained stable. In fact most pots that we are restocking have actually seen a small drop in price thanks to some favourable exchange rates. Business continues to be intensely challenging entirely thanks to our atrocious ‘government’ attacking us in a way that, frankly, I never thought I would see. I’m not going into it all but if you run a little company or a strong side hustle you will know.

Be sure that as long as I draw breath Kaizen Bonsai will be here, fully stocked with everything you are likely to need direct from UK stock at fair prices which enable us to sustain our huge range of nearly 2000 items. If there’s something you need but don’t see just ask. If there are changes you think we should make drop us a line. Alternatively if it’s pissing and moaning that’s your thing be strong and suck it up buttercup!

Apologies for the lack of blog posts and other content this year. I have had a very tough few months since I lost my little Harley and with everything else going on I got into a very low place. A few visits to friends and some trips out to clubs and a couple of shows this year has lifted my demeanour no end. As always your continued support is absolutely invaluable, we feel so privileged to be supported by the bonsai community and for over 20 years now. God bless every one of you and we pray you have a happy Christmas followed by a safe, healthy and possibly even a prosperous new year.

Have a great Christmas everyone!

THANK YOU

Graham, Catherine, Richard, Sarah and the kids.