So, anybody that knows me, or our business will know we are always busy. Not busy in the sense most of Britain at work is busy. I don’t consider 2 hours work followed by three hours of needless paperwork to be busy. We have one of the lowest outputs per head of working population in the developed world but don’t even get me started…. So we ARE busy, in the sweating my arse off sense. Myself and Richard literally move about 1-4 tons of stuff a day each. Moving between our warehouse and getting stuff packed is HARD work and for a fat middle aged bloke that likes a stogie and a beer that’s exhausting.

Add to that the stress of running a business means I only sleep about three nights a week. That nearly killed me a few years ago and I was rushed to hospital apparently 3/4 dead. Now it’s happening all over again and this current shut down of most everything is not helping. Since the governments actions our order volume has increased about 100%. Soon we too may have to shut down for the simple reason we cannot get any more boxes. All our usual suppliers are shut and there is an EU wide shortage, believe it or not. I’m wondering if I might not get a taste for loafing about and make it permanent. What do you think?

Anyway, sick of people bitching about not getting their goods fast enough. Kaizen Bonsai consists of aforesaid middle aged fat bloke, a pension aged wife, a strapping young son in law and a daughter going on maternity leave next week who looks like she was blown up with a tyre pump. This ragtag little family get out between 60 and 90 parcels in an 8 hour day. My accountant reckons it’s physically impossible for four people to turn over what we do but we HAVE done it for over 15 years now and so I reckon he’s wrong. So to all the complainers, government advice is that you go jump off a bridge and I say amen to that.

Just so you know I am not bullshitting here is our collection at 4pm today. We started work at 9am. That’s 67 parcels and about half as many (small ones) again that already went by post. If anyone would like to send me a medal I will happily send a signed photo of me wearing it by return.


Bonsai orders being dispatched

That’s social distancing in action.